he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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