Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
