this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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