wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
