The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
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