P.S. I can't hear my feet
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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