you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
