they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
