Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
