I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
