She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
