careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
