nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
