I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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