Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
