You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
