I love black thongs
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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