I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I AM VODKA MAN
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
