College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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