Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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