Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
