I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
