Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
