Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
