Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
