I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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