So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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