...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
