So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
God, I missed his penis.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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