I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
