Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
