I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
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More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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