he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
