I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
