Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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