Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
MIDGETS
????
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
