Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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