omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
