he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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