At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
