You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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