Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
