I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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