moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
