office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
