I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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