I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
