This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize