just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
