is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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