We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
