he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The best revenge is premature balding
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
