Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
