is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize