planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
