The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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