People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
