She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
