We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
