is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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