How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize