when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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