Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's rum buckets o'clock
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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