if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
