drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You were trust falling into bushes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
