Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
