We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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