Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
