you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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