so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
