I think I am morally bankrupt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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