she was so not down for the gang bang
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
