so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
