ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
