sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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