She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
