I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
