he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
