I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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